Today is Creating Thursday again, so please join in with your comments and opinions!
It hit me the other day. I need to think about what kinds of memories are being created each day. Not just the specific memories (I remember when I was little and we went to the river), but also the general memories of what life is/was like in our family.
The mind is a funny thing and memory often isn’t very accurate. If I want the children and S and I to have good memories of this time in our lives I’m going to have to make more opportunities for good memories to be remembered.
Of course some of those things will take advance planning, museum trips, projects and so on, but I am really thinking of the fabric of our daily lives and the memories that are being made whether I want them to be or not. Will those memories be full of negatives or positives? Will the children remember that I was often grumpy and tired or will they remember that I reached for grace and although tired was cheerful.
Memories aren’t the kind of thing that you can plan (although they sometimes result from planned events). They happen when the brain decides that this or that picture (video?) of an event is worth keeping. Some things make an indelible impression and some things don’t.
As parents we can’t protect our children from all bad memories but we can help them to process them and we can by God’s grace not add to them. One thing that I think is very important is to be honest with our children when we are struggling and especially when our struggles have caused us to interact badly with them. This is not by way of excuse, but instead a sincere apology ” Johhny, you know the baby had me up a bunch last night and I’m tired, but I still shouldn’t snap at you. That is wrong and I’m sorry.”
It is important not to let these things fester or attitudes and even feelings for family members will be effected.
Good memories are to be treasured and added to whenever possible, as we go through our days we need to be noticing what we are doing and particularly noticing what memories we are building and what those memories will mean to future generations.